Skip to main content

I shouldn't have told you that!

Small Talk Six: 6 children's books you love to read out loud
Please scroll down for Weekend Funnies

Back then my folks were oftentimes willing to free me from doing chores if I read. I didn't show them how much I enjoyed the arrangement. *wink* But the way the publishers introduce these books (#1,2,3) it appears my parents must have had their own motive as well for relaxing those domestic rules. Books 3, 4 & 5 contain fave chapters and stories I read to my son, and the last one, passages I read out loud to myself.

1. Children Around the World (A compilation) "written to inculcate true values to children without being preachy, this volume introduces a child to people in other lands."

2. Mga Kawiliwiling Kwento (My Storybook) "twenty character-building stories...."

3. My Bible Friends. Ten volumes, by Etta B. Degering "this is a reinforcement for value-teaching in a way children will love and enjoy."

4. Children's Treasury of Virtues by Jennifer Boudart

5. Treasury of Poetry by Alistair Hedley

6. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by JK Rowling "I shouldn't have told you that!"

Visit MomDot for more Small Talk Six

*********************************

Weekend Funnies: Exothermic or Endothermic?
Please scroll up for Small Talk Six

Once again, I'm sharing something emailed to me. Thank you, Friend C.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool chemistry final exam.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God.""

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

Visit Shakira and Gattina for more funnies.

Happy Weekend!

Comments

Gattina said…
Hahahaha ! this student should get an award ! Anyway I would prefer to go to hell, because in heaven it's too boring, there will be all popes, cardinals etc and nuns !
Anonymous said…
What great books my friend. I like your list. :) Again I haven't read a one of them LOL :)

Your joke was just too funny. I loved it. :)

Have a great weekend :)
Hazel said…
Thanks, Thom
Amanda Moore said…
Hazel what a great little story I may have to share this on Facebook if you don't mind. Thanks for the smile :)
Hazel said…
Amanda, cool analysis isn't it? :D

Popular posts from this blog

The Hunchback of Abella

A Duet When I was about 8 years old, I sang Something's Happened to Daddy in church. My father was not a church-goer so the guy I sang with was my mother's friend's husband. Papa keeps coming to my mind these days. January is the month he was felled by a massive coronary. Next week on the 14th is the anniversary of his death. The only times he ever set foot in church were during weddings and funerals of family and friends. I remember him being present in church eagerly when I was a flower girl at an aunt's wedding. Finally he entered church one more time. At his own funeral. I made sure church was the very place he went to before the cemetery. I only wished he was the one I sang with. Amy hosts head over to Signs, Miracles and Wonders for more music or to join ************************************ Guns n' Roses and the Hunchback of Abella My childhood was what can most likely be called normal. There was a balance of happy and sad memories. Today's

Sense and Sensibility: 200th anniversary

In 1811 Thomas Egerton of Whitehall, London published Sense and Sensibility . Quick math shows it has been two centuries since Jane Austen became a full-fledged author. Quite an anniversary, indeed. A celebration, I declare . Blogs regarding the publication anniversary of this romance novel picture Jane Austen 's engagements whilst making the final touches of her manuscript from Sloane Street. In letters to her sister Cassandra, Jane gave accounts of her shopping for muslin, the party that their brother Henry and SIL Eliza gave; mentioned several acquaintances, and referred to her book as S and S . As a fan I wonder which between sense and sensibility did JA deem more important since she portrayed both attributes equally well. I'm obliged to enthuse over my S & S reading experience. Alas, I only managed fourteen chapters before getting sidetracked by another novel, the very first that JA wrote. I will resume and complete my affair with the celebrant before 2011 end

Thirteen 13-word Quotes

1. I may be wrong , but I have never found deserting friends conciliates enemies. Margot Asquith , British Political Hostess (1864-1945) 2. Man's love is of man's life a thing apart; Girls aren't like that Kingsley Amis , English novelist and poet (1922-1995) "A Book Idyll" ~ see possible origin, also a 13- word quote: M an's love is of man's life a thing apart, 'Tis woman's whole existence Lord Byron (1788-1824) 3. An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last instalment missing. Quentin Crisp , English writer The Naked Civil Servant (1968) 4. Happy the hare at morning for she cannot read the hunter's waking thoughts. W.H. Auden , English poet (1907-73) Dog Beneath the Skin 5. Kissenger brought peace to Vietnam the same way Napoleon brought peace to Europe. (by losing) Joseph Heller, American novelist (1923- ) 6. Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live. Dorothy Parker ,