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These lines to make you smile (according to the subject heading) arrived via email. I'm putting up half of them this week. So then I can enjoy the rest of my temporary brain death for another week. Feel free to react :)

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10. Out of my mind.. Back in five minutes.

11. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

For more Thursday Thirteen or to join, visit Megan and Janet.
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Comments

Shelley Munro said…
LOL - most of these made me smile.
5 August 2010 at 15:10
Danielle said…
Great List! Thanks for a morning laugh!
5 August 2010 at 16:01
I am Harriet said…
EXCELLENT!!! excellent!!! Excellent!

Enjoy your Thursday!
http://harrietandfriends.com/2010/08/wanna-get-your-car-stolen-get-an-escalade/
5 August 2010 at 20:46
Pamela said…
Great list - I'm smiling!
5 August 2010 at 21:06
Jennie said…
Ha! Love #2. I think I've found my new motto!

Those are great! Thanks for sharing.
5 August 2010 at 21:06
Anonymous said…
ROFLMAO!!! These are all a riot and most of them are true LOL Thanks for sharing this. :) Have a great day :)
5 August 2010 at 22:56
Mia Celeste said…
Ha! I like number 4 about the handle on life being broken. Thanks.
6 August 2010 at 02:24
colleen said…
I like the first one best.
6 August 2010 at 08:38
jillconyers said…
A great laugh to start my day. Thanks!
6 August 2010 at 16:50
colleen said…
Hi Hazel, What's a 'takuri?' (from a comment you left on my blog? http://looseleafnotes.com
6 August 2010 at 19:48
Divaa Divine said…
NO.1 is actually my reason for divorce :)

as hilarious it is - it falls right for me :)

http://2short2sweet.blogspot.com/2010/08/what-you-could-not-ask.html
8 August 2010 at 03:38
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