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Thursday, 19 March 2009

TT: Straight from the heart

G.B. Stern says, "silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone." I agree. Keeping mum with your thanks is tasteless. I admit I have been sometimes guilty of what I have just described. I am attempting to redress that silence, and henceforth try to be more specific and regular in expressing gratitude for my blessings.

The following are what I am thankful for this week:

  • my cold is gone! (I sooo hated it) it disappeared before I could even pop the second pill
  • the fun of discovering new avenues to express myself and for the nice people I met and will meet in blogosphere

  • the thrill of interacting with my son through baseball and Japanese cuisine

I am grateful that my Cj is well past his tantrums over weekend commutes between me and his dad. And I'm certainly not complaining that ex-hub takes care of Cj's major expenses. My other baby, Mozart (my spoiled rotten canine who had to be flown home as the final casualty of my divorce) is in good hands with Grandma Philippines. Eventhough the cheeky furball is not exactly with me, phones and internet are right down my fingertips to bridge the gap. I am so pleased too for developing a more sensible attitude towards fashion and for the triumph of resisting the urge to shop unnecessarily.

My not-very-long-ago past has been pure rock n' roll. In particular 1993, 1998, and 2005 were psychologically devastating, emotionally crippling, socially turbulent, spiritually impoverished years. I was virtually a zombie. If ever I was functioning it was way below mediocre. My issues were holding me back and I was very unhappy. In all frail humanity, there had to be a guiding superpower for me to have survived.

Looking back I realize that the Creator in His grace was seeing me through despite the fact that I willfully made resoundingly bad decisions. When I finally dropped down on my knees and acknowledged that I can't make it on my own, I felt better. It's 2009. I can't believe I'm still alive and actually feel that my life has just began. Never has the word "free" been so energizing. Free to start anew! and I had better think and behave better this time. For the learning experiences of the intervening years and specially for a fabulously beautiful 2006 - yeah God gave me that despite the strong-headedness; (sheepishly grinning like a spoiled brat) I'm thankful to the heavens straight from the bottom of my heart. And that's no drama. Just plain, raw fact.

5 comments:

Genejosh said...

wow...I'm mesmerized with your testimony...great list of things to be thankful for...wala pa ko kapost..manlaba pako..he..he..see you later...

Hazel said...

my lifestyle hasn't killed me yet, and i have a feeling that with a more grateful attitude, things would just get better and better :)

Debra said...

What a thankful heart you have! I'm blessed by it today!

Denise said...

I am glad you are feeling better.

Laurie Ann said...

Glad your cold went away so quickly. Happy Thankful Thursday!