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Friday, 19 June 2009

Mommy Moments: That's my Dad!


For the first time since I joined Mommy Moments I stared at the computer screen doing nothing before finally typing anything. Those of you who have visited my previous MM posts would have an idea why. To arrive at my point, let me touch a bit of background. I have hinted before that the ex and I had a child custody issue. It resulted in a somewhat mysterious living arrangement for Cj. When I took Cj back to Thailand, Ex put up his condo for rent and bought another property in the Bangkok suburbs. I didn't know why then but now it's apparent that the main reason for the purchase was to house Cj there with his nannies during school days.

Every week I spend more than two hours travelling to pick Cj up. That's very uncharacteristic of me as I avoid commutes like the plague. But they say that a mom can do things she normally shuns before becoming a mom. I bear with this set-up so that Cj can bond with his dad. If there's any motivation, it's in knowing that they are enjoying each other's company.

During Cj's first year back in Bangkok, I accompanied them wherever they went. This was how I managed to take photos of them together. Once Cj's dad's girlfriend wanted to come along, but had to back off when she found out I would be around (lol). That is one advantage of being the mother. You will always be given priority in situations where kids are involved. Girlfriends, no matter how attractive or sexy, do not stand a chance if the mother implied that they are not welcome to join in the fun. And if they are using their heads, they better steer clear of a mother's path. The truth is I wouldn't have minded if that girlfriend came along. If I survived mental and emotional torture I could handle antics of a little gold-digger. Simple logic.

While possible, I let my little man bond with his old man. When it's time for the big change, Cj will have had enough memories of his father and could say, "That's my Dad!" For now I deal with my old seat in ex's car. Disconcerting, but such are the moments of a divorced mom. So I breathe. Stay beautiful. Face the music. And live to enjoy motherhood!

Read more stories at The Mommy Journey.

25 comments:

Beth said...

I really love your posts Hazel. Very honest always.
If I were in your place siguro, I don't like the gf to be around too. Family moments yun e.
Anyway, good to know that Cj is spending happy moments with his Dad. Very important kasi un sa emotional growth niya. :)

Hazel said...

Hi Beth, you're not just sweet. You also have a gorgeous comment:) Hugs!

Genejosh said...

Sis believe ako on how you deal this situation sweetly, calmly and always in composture...I like the way you let Cj enjoy and bond with his dad unlike others who brainwashed their kids na porke't divorce masama na daddy nila...Your honesty here makes you shine.

I agree with you sis...Stay beautiful and enjoy motherhood! God is there for you and I know He'll give you the best in life.

Mine is here: MM-That's my dad!

Our Adventures Together/
Her and History

☆Willa☆ said...

let me say this, your ex might be one such jerk husband but he is one of the wonderful dad out there to always think of CJ,so i still wish him a happy father's day!

Tetcha said...

It's not easy being a divorced mom, but you have the right attitude, which makes you cope so well with the situation. I salute you for that. Allowing Cj to spend bonding moments with his dad also shows your unselfish side. I can see they're happy together. Advance Happy Father's Day to him!

chubskulit said...

I don't think i could handle the situation as calm as you are. I wouldn't want the girlfriend to be around lol..

I admire you for not being selfish and letting CJ bond with your ex.

Mary Ann Moreno-binuya said...

You are such a strong woman. Not all women can't handle that kind of situation. God bless!

Anya said...

Thanks Hazel
that you tell your private story on your blog :)
So lovely and true words....
Enjoy your motherhood its very special and thankful !!

Den said...

what a nice post you got here Mommy! :] it's nice that they can still bond together(without the gf.lol).

happy weekend!

Rossel said...

I salute you, Hazel. You're a strong woman. I don't know if I can handle situations like that as brave and as smart as you did.

Thanks for visiting my site. Hope you won't mind exchanging links with me.

Clarissa said...

Oh Mommy Hazel!!I don't know if I can handle the situation--mahirap.But I adore you for what you did^_^Enjoy for being a Mother to CJ!!^_^

pehpot said...

I really admire you.. you are very strong.. ow..syet naiiyak ako sa post mo..

eto na nga para comedy,MM entry

I added you on my blog list and blogs I'm following :)

Make or Break

Sarah said...

Wow, this is awesome experience. Hazel I'm really blessed by what you have shared. Yes, it's not easy but your love for your son speaks...I really salute you of being a wise mom and for not being selfish to your son's welfare.

God bless you sis.

jeng said...

I admire your courage in blogging about your situation, and I can say from what I read that you are one strong mom and woman. : )

~wickedlysexy c",? said...

it is my first time to come by here in your site but I already hinted the strength that's in you.

thanks for sharing your life story!

mine's here:
http://momfrommanila.blogspot.com/2009/06/mommy-moments-thats-my-dad.html

Beth Moreno said...

visiting your mm entry mami hazel!

"And if they are using their heads, they better steer clear of a mother's path." - love this part...

hope you can visit my entry too. cheers!

Jacris said...

Wow,thank you for being so honest I really love this post Hazel, you are so strong and a wonderful mom.If I wear your shoes. I can't manage see my hubby's GF around..

Have a great weekend =)

Meikah said...

Such a candid post, I like it! And I love the last photo. :) Your child will love you more for allowing him to have these daddy moments.

Hazel said...

To Genenjosh, thanks. I will :)

To Willa, all husbands have their imperfections as all wives do

To Tetcha, thanks for your lovely thoughts

To chubskulit, if not calmly, I'm sure you can handle your own troubles just as well as I did mine

To Mary Ann, I opened my eyes and mind wider than usual and learned from other women who had been in the same waters as I have

To Anya, I guess everything in my blog is personal :-)

To Den, there was one instance they bonded with actually the gf around lol... but without me. From what I discovered, the gf ended up becoming their driver lol

To Rossel, sure, let's exchange links

To Clarissa, enjoying motherhood is yes, a big deal to me

To pehpot, musta ka na! matagal din kitang di nakita :-) add din kita at punta ako maya maya sa site mo.

To Sarah, thank you, sis

To jeng, whoever invented blogging should have an award for helping nurse broken hearts

To wickedlysexy, you are welcome:)

To Beth Moreno, magkapareha yata mga utak natin dyan sa part na sinulat ko at nagustohan mo :-)

To Jacris, I am left with no other choice but to be strong

To Meikah, I hope my kiddo will understand everything in time

Chris said...

your post is always so honest and i admire you for that hazel!

thanks for being part of mommy moments. i appreciate what you share with us!

life's journey said...

Thanks for sharin g those nice entries. Take care and happy weekend. I have my late entry hope you visit...

Tetcha said...

Hi, again. Just to let you know I have an award for you waiting at my blog. Have a great weekend!

ryliej said...

Hi hazel, visiting!

ryliej said...

oppps typed my url wrong hehehe

niko said...

i like how u write straight to the points. i think i will stay here.. thakns for ur nice comment on my dauther's blog.

take care always!