Thursday, 3 September 2009

No Unauthorized Dust Allowed to Collect

Header by Samulli. Play T13 here.

From the beginning pages of The Complete Neurotic: The Anxious Person's Guide to Life, intention is obvious - to make you accept the reality of your neurotic tendencies in a positively hilarious manner. I picked a copy from Asia Books on my way to have my weekly Italian icecream, and thought that as it's impossible to share the icecream, I would share some value I got for the money with you. Author Charles A. Monagan listed his observations regarding the social and personal behavior of neurotics:

1. Neurotics daydream about winning the lottery, but they never play it.
***sometimes I do wonder what it's

2. Neurotics hate to ask directions. This is particularly true of males, who like to think of themselves as self-sufficient trailblazers even if they are just trying to get to a cocktail party across town.
***hmmm...the ex comes to mind

3. Neurotics write contentious comments on the margins of books.
***there's this string of mild contentions on my Da Vinci Code. Thank God I didn't choke on my ice cream lol!

4. If there is one chance in a million of making a mistake, a neurotic will not call another person by name.

5. Neurotics have favorite coffee cups that they love beyond reason. Exceptional neurotics will go so far as to take these cups with them when they go out for breakfast.

6. Neurotics make a very big deal out of things like Peter and the Wolf and The Wizard of Oz.
***Does Harry Potter count?

7. Neurotics believe in bumper-sticker wisdom. A car that is covered with bumper stickers has a driver behind the wheel whose mind probably is not on the road.
***at least I'm not a fan of bumper stickers on cars

8. The record collections of neurotics are in alphabetical order. No unauthorized hand is allowed to touch these records. No unauthorized dust is allowed to collect on them.
***the contents of my book shelf and dresser are not in alphabetical order but I don't like it really when unauthorized hands touch them *tiger grin"

9. Neurotics hum or whistle at inappropriate times and places.

10. If a neurotic begins to think about walking while walking down the street (particularly with people watching) he or she will begin shambling and perhaps even lose balance and fall down. Likewise, neurotics are unable to breathe properly if they begin thinking about breathing.

11. Neurotics tend to take up causes that involve whales, stray cats, and baby seals rather than human beings.

12. Neurotics are sure the phone will begin ringing as soon as they get out of earshot.

13. Neurotics see omens where others would not. For instance: If the next man who walks around the corner is wearing a hat, it will mean that I can afford to buy the green dress.

Any of these familiar or you can relate with?:-)


Thom said...

lol I'm with ya on the bumper stickers. I think all of use are like this to some degree :)

Hazel said...

I know someone who has his very name pasted alongside other stickers on his car so he can easily find it in large parking areas lol!

Anya said...

I am always neurotic ....... LOL
I can relate with all hahaha.....
I love your header ;)

Hazel said...

Anya, it's fun, isn't it? lol

Hootin' Anni said...

#7 is scary...I've seen many of those kinda cars/ I'll be more leery of sticking around 'em!!!

My 13 this week is all about Labor in a funny way. Hope you can stop by to visit with me. Happy Thursday. ['ll need to scroll down below my Thursday Thunks to find my list of 13]

Hazel said...

Hi Anni, I was so focused on bumper sticker-ridden cars I forgot all about the driving...weew...

Americanising Desi said...

so it is proven.
i m a neurotic :O


i can so relate

13 Walt Disney

Hazel said...

AD, be proud, lol!

life's journey said...

Sticker bumper so many in here...Happy t13.

colleen said...

I'm yes on #2, 5, and 10, only with 10 it's breathing. If I start thinking about it I can't do it. These were fun and I feel reassured that I flunked.

Heather said...

Well. I guess since I alphabatize my CDs, movies and books (how else do you find the one you want at any given time??), and have also been known to sing along with grocery store music...I am a certified neurotic. Who knew! *grin*

My Blog

Hazel said...

@life's journey, what could be up with sticker bumper hmmm...

@colleen, i feel scared to almost pass, lol!

@Heather, sensible organization is a good point

Journeywoman said...

#8 is a bit scary.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Hey, I dream about winning the lottery but don't play it. The difference is that I don't *expect* to win what I don't join. So am I still neurotic?

Figured. I AM a writer, after all. We're neurotic by definition.

I am Harriet said...

Wonderful replies!
Have a great day!

genejosh said...

visiting you sis..balik ra ko if ok na ako connection so hinay oi....

Anonymous said...

It was very interesting for me to read that article. Thank you for it. I like such topics and everything that is connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more on that blog soon.